Fourteen Easy Steps to Changing the Sheets on a Bunk Bed

Some would say that changing the sheets on a bunk bed is the most difficult thing they've ever done but I say it doesn't have to be that way. Here are some useful tips for making the job easier.

1. Stare into the room where the bed is located. Calculate in your head how long it has been since those sheets were changed. If you estimate that the sheets have been used for 10 days or less then decide that this job can wait.

2. Four days later enter the room where the bed is located and decide that today is the day those sheets get changed. Step on an expensive toy and break it. Get mad. Decide that those sheets don't get changed until the occupants of the room clean it up.

3. Five days later enter the room and spend 2 hours sorting Legos, cars, stuffed animals, books, etc. Now you're too frustrated and angry to change those sheets. It'll have to wait.

4. Three days later enter the room and prayerfully lay your hands on the bed. Commit in your heart to get those sheets changed by the end of the day. Starting with the lower bunk, begin removing the sheets. Pinch your fingers and bump your head. Get mad and leave the room, vowing not to return until your husband comes home from work and helps.

5. When your husband returns from work (at bedtime), tell him that he has to get upstairs immediately and help with those sheets because you're sick and tired of doing that job by yourself. After the shouting subsides, explain to the youngest child why it won't hurt him to sleep on a bare mattress for one night.

6. A week later enter the room and climb to the top bunk. Attempt to remove the sheets while kneeling on the mattress. This won't work.

7. Lying flat on your back on the bottom bunk, push up on the upper mattress with your feet. When you do this you won't be able to reach the upper mattress because your legs are longer than your arms but desperation will require that you not skip this step.

8. Sit up in the lower bunk with your head smashed against the top bunk. Use your head to raise the top mattress and very carefully use your fingers to push the sheet up and free of the mattress. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.

9. Wrestle the sheets from the upper mattress, tearing them in some places. It doesn't matter, they're OFF. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.

10. Spread the clean sheets on the upper and lower mattresses. Attempt to tuck the sheets around the mattresses while kneeling on the mattresses. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.

11. Step 10 will not be successful. Remove both mattresses from the bed frame. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.

12. Dress the mattresses in their sheets. Lay the top sheet loosely on the mattress. Resist the urge to use safety pins and rubber bands to attach the top sheet to the mattress as this will result in further shredding of the sheet.

13. Lift the mattresses into the frame using your super human "angry mom" strength. Ignore the pain in your back and the damage to your innards. Step on more toys. Knock over a lamp and break it. Scream obscenities that would make a rapper feel dirty. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.

Voila! Your done! Wasn't that easy!

14. Go to the fridge to get that well deserved carton of ice cream you're going to eat now. Pinch your fingers and bump your head.